


When I Met Her (Watashi ga kanojo ni atta toki)

by Eredhelil



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Drama, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:26:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eredhelil/pseuds/Eredhelil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nozomi is a third year, and soon her and Eli will have to part ways. How will they cope with the impending fact that they will no longer be able to see each other every day? How will the cope with the fact that their feelings may be deeper than just a mere friendship, and what happens to make them start over?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That Night

**Author's Note:**

> Most likely will not update often, sorry school takes control of my life this time of year. Smutty.

**Nozomi**

The words couldn't be formed by my mouth at the time, but I knew that I wanted to talk to her. She was so alone, and always had an aura about her that made you want to slink away, but she was interesting. Ayase Eli, she had transferred to Otonokizaka, and the minute she stood up my soul told me to say something to her. I didn't know why it happened, or why I was so interested in the girl, but I knew that I had to talk to her. And so...I did. It had been a couple of years since we first spoke, and ever since then my life was turned upside down. 

"What's going on through that wild mind of your's today Nozomi?" Eli asked, leaning against my shoulder as she peeked over to see the unfinished schoolwork in front of me. "It must be something important, you usually finish your homework really quickly." I felt the blush rise to my cheeks and looked away, pretending to get a cough. 

"Oh! It's nothing, I'm just excited that we might get to compete in Love Live this year," I answered, hoping the blonde would take the bait. And she did and backed off on the curiosity. "You are too right?"

"Yes of course! I can't believe we are third years though, we'll be gone soon...and we will be separated from each other." She pointed out a good point, and honestly I didn't want to believe it, but I wouldn't always have Eli-chi to protect me. The room went silent, before her friend sighed and laid down on the bed, patting beside her indicating for me to come next to her. My cheeks had grown a dark shade of red as I laid down next to her, she wrapped her arms around me and was close to dozing off. "You know, I really don't want to loose you Nozomi." I felt the arms around me tighten a bit, before feeling them loosen again. 

"You know, we could go to the same school afterwards too, where do you want to go Eli?" The question seemed to shock Eli, for she looked down at me with wide eyes. "You do know that I haven't chosen yet...so if you want...I could come to your school," I suggested. 

"You should pick things based on your interests Nozomi, not because I'm going there."

"But what if my interest is there, what if my interest is no where but there and here?" I whispered to myself, apparently catching Eli's ear, she smiled at me. 

"What? Is that a riddle? I wonder if I could solve it...tell me the whole thing." I panicked, my head whirling for the right words. 

"Um...an interest that is here with me now, something that I can't buy, something that is deeply important and close to my heart, and something that I can follow to places where it belongs." That was not the best explanation, I'm so stupid. I wanted to slap my forehead but my body was till being hugged tight by Eli. She thought hard about it, I could tell because she had that look on her face when she gets super serious. It made me want to go up to her and squeeze her cheeks to make her laugh. I lifted my hand to try but felt Eli wrap her own around it. 

"I am not falling for that again! I have no idea what you are talking about, but I am sure your interest is very important to you. And maybe you'll find a different one too, you never know, you should keep your options open-" Eli stopped talking after I realized that I was staring at her weirdly. Quickly I turned my head and smashed it into a nearby pillow. 

"I could never find a different interest, trust me." I muttered under my breath, waiting for a response. My face was still smushed in the pillow, and when I looked up out of it my eyes met her sky blue ones. 

"You're so silly," Eli giggled before gently pecking my nose with a kiss. My face was bright red, and I felt the vibrations of my heart beat throughout my entire body. What was happening to me? "Well, do you want something to drink? I'll go get us some tea." She left before I could give her my answer. Oh god! I yelled into my pillow flailing my legs like a little kid, they hit the mattress making a large thud.  

**Eli**

Oh gosh! What did I just do?! I left the room just in time to cover my mouth with my hands, the image of Nozomi's cute reaction still engraved in my head. She was so cute! I couldn't help it! Taking about all of that leaving each other crap really made me want to just...take her and...do things. Ahhh! The thoughts running through my head made me feel tingly sensations all over my body. Nozomi was so adorable...and kind...and-and. I walked into her kitchen and quickly grabbed some tea from the already made pot. She would be expecting it after all. Walking back was just as embarrassing...it was like a walk of shame. Well...I sort of wished it was a walk of shame because then.... AHHH!! Get your head out of the gutter! I balanced the drinks on the tray I carried as I walked into the room. Nozomi had her face buried into her pillow, probably blushing just as much as I was. 

"Hey." I cleared my throat. "Um...why don't we do something to um...remember out third year. Just the two of us, like a secret to never be told. What's the one thing you want to do? I will go along with it I promise." I waited, watching her try to make up her mind. Nozomi could be so indecisive sometimes, it made her so much more irresistible. The dark purple haired girl rustled in her bed, apparently having a hard time with the question. Finally she turned around, just her eyes poking out from the pillow she hugged. 

"How...how about a...um...kiss?" I almost spit out my tea, a...k-kiss?

"Sure," I answered without processing it. Nozomi was shocked and looked to be happy too, the girl smiling as she took lifted her head from the pillow a bit. I walked over to her carefully, watching her curl into a ball. I sat down next to her, but I couldn't see her face anymore. She looked to be scared...or nervous for that matter. My own heart beat was running a thousand miles an hour. I couldn't think straight let alone reason with anyone! Nozomi looked at me with her big beautiful green eyes, waiting for me to say something else. But all I did, was gently grab her chin with my pointer finger and thumb, and place her lips on my own. They were so soft, so...wonderfully soft. I leaned in some more, and surprisingly so did she. Her hands ran through my hair as the pillow between us dropped to the floor and I pushed her onto the bed. She...she was what I wanted right now...not love live...just her. Nozomi wrapped her hands around my neck, pulling me in more, I slipped my tongue into her mouth as her's rubbed on mine. Our breaths were hot as we moved in unison, moving our lips in sync. Our lips parted ways, and before I knew it she was kissing my neck...getting further and further down until she reached my collarbone. The sensation sent a wave of pleasure throughout my body, making me shake with the feeling. "Nozomi..."

"Shhh...Eli, all I want right now is to be with you." Those were the only words I needed before I brought her lips back to mine before nibbling on her ear, feeling her shake in my arms. I moved down to her neck and then collarbone, which were both incredibly pleasurable for her. I watched as she unbuttoned her shirt before revealing the white bra she had on. I took it off in a second, revealing her big ample breasts. My lips moved down her chest until they reached one nipple, gently sucking on it before moving onto the next. Her moans got louder and louder as I played with them more and more. "Eli!" She moaned before kissing me and holding me close. My face was completely immersed in her bust, it was like I was in a dream. Ugh I was such a pervert. "You know...I think that was a bit more than a kiss." I laughed and was so tempted to go back to sucking those big womanly breasts, but she stopped me. "We should wait until we have more time...the others will be back soon and I personally think this would be better kept a secret." I grinned waiting for her to button up her shirt again, but she didn't. 

"Oh it would...but right now I think I want to kiss you one more time." I cupped her bare breasts in my hands and kissed her roughly, our tongues dancing together. When we parted I looked at her and gave a small smile. "Now I'm ready for the secret to go in the safe." 

 


	2. Milkshakes and Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That night still lingers in both the girls minds as school comes about, who's feelings will jump to the punch first?

** Nozomi  **

 

I had time to think about it all, what happened between us yesterday, and how it might affect today. The cards told me today would be promising, which I am so glad to hear. I just didn’t…well know how to act around Eli anymore. I debated coming to school at all today, but Honoka did something idiotic again and needed some help with the student council so I had to come. Umi really should watch her more often, even though she’s ridiculously hard to keep track of. I walked into the gates of Otonokizaka, just waiting for something to happen. 

 

“Nozomi!” I whipped my head around to see Maki and Nico walking over, I immediately put on a smile so they wouldn't know. No one could find out about yesterday. “Are you ready to hang out today. We haven’t gotten a chance to see each other recently so I decided that we all should at least go out to eat,” Maki suggested in that laid back voice of her’s. “Honoka wants me to pay again.” I laughed, that girl wants anyone _but_ her to pay. 

 

“So are you ready to go and have some milkshakes? Maki said that the place we are going to has a large selection of them and I am personally so excited to try them all!” Nico exclaimed throwing her arms in the air in excitement. A lot of flavors…which to pick?…what would Eli pick? “Nozomi?” I snapped back into reality quickly. 

 

“Oh uh yes, I-I’m listening. Sorry just got a bit side tracked, you were explaining the different flavors.” Nico went on and on about the different flavors they had, and they all sounded so good that my stomach was getting angry at me for listening to them all. 

 

“OH! Milkshakes! YAH!” Honoka and Rin both yelled as they popped up behind Maki. 

 

“Could you not yell in my ear Honoka?” Maki asked, clearly pissed off about it. The orange haired girl just laughed and smiled widely. 

 

“Which are you getting Maki? Chocolate? Oh! Or maybe strawberry?” Maki didn't answer Rin’s question but we all really didn't mind it. Obviously Rin wanted to know severely, acting as if her whole life depended on that answer. I giggled and felt a pair of arms wrap around my shoulders. 

 

“And what will you be getting Nozomi?” Eli whispered in my ear, I felt the warmth of her breath against my skin sending a tingle up my spine. I froze as everyone looked to me for an answer, and to greet Eli obviously. No one noticed how close we were, I could practically feel Eli’s…breasts…pressed up on my back. 

“Um…what are you getting Eli? I haven't decided yet so-“

 

“I’ll just have what you’re having, after all, it’s good to try the things your _very_ _best friend_ enjoys right?” Eli winked…I knew all to well what that wink meant. My heart raced as she pressed up closer and closer to me, her hug tightening. Someone will find out, someone will notice, the voices pounded in my head. But, surprisingly…everyone was pretty oblivious. Except, of course, Umi who never missed anything. 

 

“That’s so sweet Eli! I wish Honoka would do that once and a while,” Katori said, the girls silver hair pinned back to reveal her yellow amber eyes. 

 

“I think that…it’s sweet right Rin?” Hanayo tried to say, but ended up whispering it. Rin exploded with happiness before jumping on Hanayo and pushing her closer to the rest of us. The girl looked frazzled but quickly adjusted to the attention. 

 

“Then…I think I’ll just have vanilla with a cherry on top,” I answered, everyone smiled as we finished the plans for when we would all meet after school. This was one of the few free days Honoka, Umi, and Katori had from student council duties so they wanted to make the best of it. Eli didn’t leave me as we walked to class together, the girl’s blonde hair up in a ponytail using a white scrunchy. We both wore scrunchies, they were the easiest to get out of my hair without messing it all up. The classroom was filled with everyone, and the class itself was about to start. I just didn't want to pay attention right now…because honestly the only thoughts that ran through my mind were the Eli was sitting right in front of me…and the stuff that we did last night…I bit my lip gently. She placed something on my desk, a balled up piece of paper, the minute I opened it I couldn't suppress my fantasies anymore. 

 

Meet me in the classroom right after school…I want to talk. 

 

** Eli **

 

I waited and waited…class had ended, and we spent time together during lunch too, but Nico was there. I missed her…even though we had seen each other all day, I missed her touch. I didn’t want to admit it, but there were some things that I couldn’t explain to even myself. I tried to keep all the feelings and emotions suppressed, but I just couldn't anymore. She entered the room, her green eyes looking directly at me, and my heart filled to the brim with butterflies. 

 

“Hey.” I had no idea what to say, there was no way that I could ever just say. _Hey, so I’m missing you and all that so can we you know do things?_ That would be so rude and insensitive, plus Nozomi was a fragile girl, even if she didn't show it on the outside. She walked over to me and took my hands in her’s. 

 

“Hi, um, Eli what’s this about?” Nozomi asked, her concern showing right through her words. I knew that it should be explained, the note did say that I wanted to talk and all. 

 

“I just…I can’t help but wonder about the future Nozomi. I don’t…no I can't be separated from you.” The girl sucked in a quick breath. “I…need to be with you.” All I could do was look at the ceiling. Oh gosh I’m such an idiot! Idiot! Idiot! I felt her hands move gradually to wrap around my waist, as she pulled me into a soft hug. 

 

“Why didn’t you say so earlier?” 

“I was afraid, that you wouldn't accept it, the feelings I have for you.” It was hard to be honest, gosh it was hard to admit anything to yourself let alone admitting it to the person you have feeling for. I felt her arms tighten around my waist before she looked directly into my eyes, her face centimeters away from my own. 

 

“You know how I was told you to solve that riddle yesterday?” Nozomi asked, gradually getting closer.

 

“You mean, the now about your interest for a university?” She nodded, which I took as a good sign. A dark shade of blush came across Nozomi’s face and I fell right into it all. So, cute. 

 

“You didn’t know the answer right? Well what if the answer…is not a something but a someone?” Nozomi explained, a someone? Interest…someone…person of interest…interested in a…person. I gasped before looking down at her with wide eyes. 

 

“You don’t mean that, your interest is me do you?” Nozomi just buried her face into my chest in embarrassment. I huffed out a laugh before taking her face in my hands and gently brushing my lips against her’s. “I think that this interest you have…also has an interest that might just click with yours.” With those words Nozomi kissed me like she’s never kissed me before. She wrapped her hands around my neck and took charge as she pulled me on top of her. She leaned on a desk as we kept kissing, forgetting to breath. Our breaths were hot as we explored each other in every way possible. Nozomi moved her hands up my shirt and gently caressed my breasts making me quiver with pleasure. We stopped the kiss for only a millisecond before going right back into it, I felt her brush her nose against my own, the soft gentle nature making me yearn for her even more. She was being so aggressive today, it made me wonder if she’s always wanted to do this with me. 

 

“Eli-chi,” Nozomi gasped as I ran a finger down her spine. I moved my lips to her neck before starting to kiss my way down and around her body. She had such soft skin, I gently crouched down on the floor and kissed the inner part of her thighs too. She moaned louder and louder as I got closer and closer…

 

“You guys ready to go get milkshakes!” A loud red head burst into the room. I immediately got up and fixed my bow on my shirt. She didn't seem to notice, and Nozomi was facing away so she was able to fix her stuff without being noticed too. My heart raced, and I was sure that my face was bright red, because Nozomi’s sure was. I cleared my throat before speaking. 

 

“Uh..yah just give us a second to gather our stuff.” I walked over to Nozomi to make sure that she was okay, and that she had all the appropriate buttons buttoned. We grabbed our bags quickly and walked to catch up with them. I whispered extremely quietly into Nozomi’s ear, the words making the girl blush ten times more. “You know I think that the milkshake my interest is boasting is more than enough to make me feel happy.” Nozomi giggled quietly. 

 

“Jeez Eli, your such a pervert.”

 

“Is that so wrong?” We laughed, our hands hidden behind the bags at our sides, both holding tightly onto the other. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes that last line with the Milkshake was referring to the boobs if some peeps didn't get it. I am happy to be able to get a second chapter out! Yay! I hope you all are enjoying this so far, I always wondered what happened after high school for them all. Yay Nozeli!


	3. Never Alone

** Eli **

 

Honoka and Maki just kept grinning back at me and Nozomi the whole walk to the restaurant. I couldn't help but blush as Nozomi kept close at my side, sneaking the chance to hold my hand every once and a while. She was so dang cute, it made my heart beat like crazy. 

 

“Everything okay back there Eli?” Maki asked, yelling back to us. I didn’t realize that I had been staring down at Nozomi who still clung to my side, I don’t think it was the stare that made her blush, but the fact that I had been caught. I cleared my throat before speaking.

 

“Uh..yes we are fine, Nozomi’s just a bit cold that’s all.” The girls narrowed their eyes at us before continuing on with the walk as if nothing happened. I felt the tug on my sweater as Nozomi snuggled a bit closer, I felt the large gust of wind wisp past us sending shivers down my spine. We walked for what seemed like hours, Umi continuously telling us to stop complaining, bribing Rin, Honoka and Nico by saying that she would buy them their milkshakes. When we finally reached the restaurant it was late in the day, a lot of people were there and we had to wait a while for a table. I noticed Nozomi was sort of on edge, but I didn’t know what about. It concerned me that she was quiet for most of the night, after the outing I told everyone that I would take Nozomi home since she wasn’t feeling well. No one thought it was strange, even though I knew that Nozomi wasn’t sick. When we reached her apartment she almost collapsed onto the bed. 

 

“Nozomi are you okay? You look like you have a fever,” I asked, my voice wavering. Nozomi just shook her head quickly. 

 

“It’s not that, It’s just…I don't know what I want to do,” Nozomi muttered into her pillow, I almost didn't catch the words. 

 

“What do you mean? You turned in the forms at school for career choices right?” Nozomi shook her head no, and it dawned upon her that if Nozomi didn’t choose…and she didn't have her parents right now…she would be alone. No academy, no family, and no one to talk to. Everyone would be graduated or busy with school, and Nozomi would be here alone. “I’m sure you will find something you want to do, just give it time.”

 

“But I don’t have time Eli-chi, I don’t have all the time in the world to pick out the thing I want to do. There is so much that I want to do but not something that would make me as happy as I was when I was…when we were singing all together.” She paused, and I didn’t know what to say. I knew Nozomi, and I knew that she was very optimistic. I just, I didn’t know what to do. She sniffled and I looked to see her crying, I walked over to her and sat on the bed, cradling her in my arms gently. 

 

“Shh, Nozomi, you don’t have to cry. I loved singing with everyone too, but we all decided to go our separate ways remember,” I spoke to her softly, feeling her body shake in my arms as she let out her sobs. “Nozomi…please don’t cry, please. You are such an amazing person, and as a person with so many talents and interests you will find something, I swear it.” The girl started to calm down, the shaking stopping, now Nozomi was hugging me tightly. 

 

“I’m not sure what I will do, but the thing I am sure about is that I want to be near you. I just need you to be close by.” I looked at her, my Nozomi glued to my side, the warmth of her hug making me feel at home. 

 

“I do to.”

 

“Eli…what did you want to do? What did you put down on your career choices?” I paused to think, what did I put down? It was a while ago so I needed to think for a moment. I searched my memories until I found it, I stopped. “Eli?”

 

“I uh, I put down that I wanted to dance ballet in Russia.”

 

** Nozomi **

 

I expected that to be her answer, Eli always loved to dance, but Russia was far away. And…for all I knew, Eli could stay there permanently. I felt the panic flow through me, and I watched Eli feel the same way. I was glad she did…but I didn’t want her to worry about me. She continued.

 

“It was before…before I realized that I had serious feelings for you. And-“ I interrupted her before she could say anything more. 

 

“You should go, or at least try to. I don’t want to be a road block for you Eli, if that’s what you want to do…then do it,” I told her and forced a smile. She looked back at me, her eyes wide. 

 

“But, what if I want to…but I don't want to at the same time?” She asked laying down on the bed, bringing me down with her. I rest my head on her chest, _so soft._

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, what if I want to dance, but…I don't want to dance if there’s not the person I care about there to watch.” I felt my heart start to beat faster, I decoded the words before she could for me. I glanced at her and saw a small grin on her face. 

 

“Eli I-“

 

“Nozomi, I want to dance, but I won’t leave you alone. You will never have to be alone.” I felt the words sink into me, before Eli came along I was always alone. I had no friends, and my parents were always away for business, and I had no one to talk to or play with. I never had anyone there for me, but then…then she came along and she was just like me. She cared enough to talk to me, to become my friend. I would never be alone. I felt my eyes start to water as small droplets of tears ran down my cheeks. 

 

“I don’t, I don’t want to be a burden-“

 

“You will never be a burden, and don’t ever say that you are,” Eli interrupted me again, I felt her pull me closer and the warmth of her body against my own made my heart flutter. “We’ll figure out life together Nozomi, or die trying right?” I paused, and then smiled grandly. 

 

“Right!” Eli kissed my forehead before I fell asleep, no stress at all, still in her arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how short this chapter was, schools kicking my ass a bit, plus my vocal conservatory duties and all that. But I hope you enjoyed it! Tell me if you liked it and what you want to happen next.


	4. Go To The Skies

** Eli **

 

We walked in together which generated no sort of odd attention, we were always together now that I though about it more. The other girls just thought it was normal, which was a good sign considering what was actually going on between the two of us. Honoka was just as crazy as ever, she wanted to have way to many school events, thankfully Umi stepped in and cut out half of them. I sighed as my eyes scanned the room, it was our new hang out area. Muse’s new hang out area, well…the muse we all decided to disband. There was only one week left of my high school life, and honestly I was scared to go out into the world. Like seriously! Where was I going to go! I couldn't find a job if I didn’t have a degree, well…a good job here in Tokyo. But… I looked over to see Nozomi smiling happily and laughing at Rin who was rolling around on the floor. I can’t leave her, it just isn't possible. 

 

“Whatcha doing?” I jump at the sound of someones voice. Behind me stands Honoka smiling and giggling at my reaction. “You sure seem to be deep in thought Eli, if you have something that you need help with then just ask!” I sighed and smiled to myself. 

 

“I am just having trouble coping with the idea that in a few weeks I will be considered an adult. Adults have a lot of responsibility-“

 

“You can do it, you are one of the most responsible and put together people I know Eli! I mean when you were student council president the school had no trouble planning events and all that. Now, the president cant make up her mind half the time,” Umi sneered at Honoka who just stuck her tongue out at the girl. I laughed and wrapped my arms around both the girls, smiling in joy. 

 

“You know…I’m going to miss all of you,” I muttered, hoping not to bring down the mood of the room. But inevitable I did, everyone started to glance at each other, mainly the third years. We would be leaving, and we would be leaving the rest of Muse here. I didn't want to leave Muse behind. Ever. But life didn't always got the way you thought it would. Heck I didn't even think I would be in a school idol group in the first place, let alone _wish_ to stay in it. Life's a mystery, Nozomi once told me, and now I understand why that line was the true. “Keep in touch okay.” I hid my face, feeling the tears form in my eyes. 

 

“We will, we always will,” Katori answered, coming over to hug me. They all were like family, and yet, I had to leave them. To who knows where, I don’t even know what I’m going to do now that I’m not going to Russia. I’ll figure something out, probably. 

 

“We’ve still got a week guys! Why don't we all do something fun!” Honoka exclaimed breaking the tension. Rin and Hanayo smiled nodding their heads in unison. “I say we go have fun with the last week we have together! Make the best of it all!” The red head smiled and laughed as she ran around the room with the energy of a child. I looked over to see Nozomi looking proudly at the girls, but also sort of frowning. I could see through her, and she wanted to stay too. 

 

“Yah! Let’s make the best of the time!” Rin yelled as she joined Honoka in bouncing around the room. Umi walked over to them and told them to calm down a bit after Rin nocked over a stack of papers. I wandered over to Nozomi, who was still looking directly at the girls. 

 

“You don’t want to leave do you?” I whispered catching her attention. She looked at her feet then back at me. 

“You don't want to either right?” I looked at her and breathed in deeply. Nodding I pulled her into a hug not caring that the other girls were there. She pressed in closer to me, making me wish the the other girls weren’t here so I could kiss her. But…I just couldn’t.

 

“Nozomi are you okay?” Hanayo asked as Nozomi parted ways with me. She looked over at the light brown haired girl and smiled. 

 

“Of course, I want this week to be perfect.” Nozomi giggled, but I knew that that smile and laughter was all just a bunch of lies to make us all feel better. I knew that she was holding in what she always wanted. And knew that she was having a hard time finding what she wanted to do in life. 

 

“Awsome! Tomorrow lets go to the aquarium!” Nico chimed in, Nozomi loved aquariums! That would surely make her happy for a little while. I saw a small smile curl up on Nozomi’s mouth, a real smile. 

 

“Yah!” Honoka yelled and jumped into the air with excitement. I sighed at the sight of them all, so happy and free. I decided then what I would do, I walked over to Nozomi and put my mouth close to her ear. 

 

“Meet me at the beach at five okay.” The girl just nodded as we went to get ice-cream because Maki said she would pay again. 

 

** Nozomi **

 

I didn’t know what Eli wanted to say, or why she chose the beach of all places to say it, but I met her there at five o’clock. She was wearing a white dress with purple sandals and the gold bracelet I gave her when we first met. She looked so pretty. 

 

“Eli what are you-“

 

“Lets go,” she said and started walking to get to the street. I stumbled to keep up with her. 

 

“Go where?” I asked still trying to walk a bit faster. The blonde looked back at me and took my hand in hers. 

 

“Go to the skies,” she answered and walked up the stairs, dragging me along with her. We walked down the roads, the sunset a beautiful golden orangey red color, the world shaded by the wondrous light. It got dark not long after that, and by then I had no idea where we were. We passed the shrine I volunteered at, and the places where we all practiced for Love Live. Where was she taking me? We walked through trees and bushes, my pink dress catching on the branches every once and a while. I felt the air cool as it got darker and darker. Until we stopped. 

 

“Wha-“ I felt hands over my eyes and someone shush me, the gentle voice making me blush. 

 

“Let me guide you, you trust me don't you?” I nodded and felt her gently guide me, my eyes still closed. I felt grass brush against my skin, and the breeze get faster and colder. Where were we going? I wondered it but she wouldn't answer me. I felt her push be a bit faster before we stopped. I felt the hands lift off of my eyes and a kiss placed on my cheek. My heart fluttered from the softness of the lips which placed it there. “Okay…open.” I opened my eyes and was speechless at what I saw. 

 

“Eli-“ The skies were lit with millions of stars, each one shining a bit different than the other. The balls of light glistened and lit up the black sky brilliantly. The moon shined in it’s full form, the blue shine falling on the grass bellow us gently. “It’s…so beautiful.” I felt the wind wisp past me bringing the sent of fresh pine air to my nose. It was glorious, the wold was lit by these little stars in the sky, that each shined differently but no more than the others. I saw Eli lay down in the grass and look up at the sky, peace washing over her face. I followed her and saw what she saw. The moon was at the center, and there were nine stars that wrapped around it. Them all connected through the strand of space between them. Nine stars that shined brightly upon the world. 

 

“It’s my favorite place to go when I need to think. I thought you might want to see it too,” her voice reached my ears and I saw what she did. Nine stars, for the nine members of Muse. The members that would forever stay with you no matter how far apart you were. Each start shining in a different way, but none more than the others. 

 

“It’s perfect, and calming.” I turned my head to see Eli immersed in the wonders above her. The sky reflected in her eyes. “Eli I want you to go to Russia.” Her attention was pulled by my words.

 

“No. I’ve already made up my decision,” she declared. I felt her hand graze mine and gently wrap around it. “I want to be here with you, to be here on this hill with you.”

 

“I want you to be able to follow your dreams, the dreams that we all have should be chased. And just because someone comes along to make you doubt them, doesn't mean you should stop chasing them,” I continued, her face frowned before attempting to argue. I spoke first. “I want this Eli, you found something that you really want to do, something that makes you happy. So go for it!” I smiled enthusiastically. 

 

“But you make me more happy Nozomi, and I would rather give up Russia, than not be with you.” My heart beat non stop, running at full speed. 

 

“Eli-“

 

“Besides, I can always dance here in Tokyo right! There are schools that have dance majors here too. So I’ll be fine, because I will have you.” She looked up at the sky again. “And I’ll always have Muse.” I stared at the stars above us and held onto her hand tightly. 

 

“Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like the story! Tell me what you like and if you think I can improve on things in the comments. Thanks for reading!


	5. Fiery Guilt

** Nozomi **

 

The whole week had been perfect, we all hung out together, and I felt the same bond that made me join Muse in the first place strengthen. Making it more and more difficult to let it go. Eli was staying over at my house almost every night now, having her near by made it easier for me to sleep. The girls still hadn’t thought anything was different between us, and it was a good thing they didn’t notice. Because once it was out that Eli and I were…were, well something, the bonds between us all would change. And that was the last thing she wanted.

 

Class was boring again, except for english, I enjoyed learning the foreign language. Eli had studied abroad in Russia, and everyone knew I had been to too many places to count. But, the language still mystified me, making my brain toss and turn. Even pronouncing it was hard! The challenge excited me. 

 

“Mrs.Toujo.” I snap out of my daydream at the sound of my professor’s voice. “Welcome back to class,” the students around me giggled. “Could you recite line five please.” 

 

“Uh..yes ma’am.” I picked up the textbook which had a bunch of English writing in it. Line five…found it. “Ai, pihked uhp thuh book, iht wahs hehvy.” (I picked up the book, it was heavy.) The sentence was hard to read, but lucky I had written in the pronunciation before hand so I could just read that instead. 

 

“Very good, thank you.” I sat back down feeling accomplished, as I did my eyes caught Eli’s who was sitting in front of me smiling. She looked so happy, Eli’s smile always amazed me, the gentleness of it sparking something inside of me. We met after class, as all of Muse did. 

 

“You sure did a good job with the English today! I knew you spoke the language a bit, but honestly I was so stunned at how flawless your pronunciation was.” Eli hugged me from behind, it was just us so far, the school idol club room empty. I felt her grip on me tighten and a light kiss was placed on my neck, sending a ripple of delight through my body. My toes curled in my shoes as she kissed my spine and gently made her way to my collarbone. “I missed my alone time with you this week, I mean I love all the girls in Muse, but I love you so much more.” I turned around quickly and brought my lips to Eli’s, the girls lips were so soft. I melted into her, my arms wrapping themselves around her neck. Our tongues touched and I felt my heart leap with excitement. My body was on fire, so much fire it felt like it would never end. I parted the kiss to breath. 

 

“Eli, I missed you too. I-“ She didn’t let me finish my thought before Eli pinned me on the club table and started kissing down my neck again. She brought her lips to mine, kissing me roughly before starting to unbutton my white blouse. I felt the cool air on my breasts as she cupped them in her hand, playing with my nipples. My body tingled and leaned into her touch. She rubbed them harder before she licked their tips, the wet softness making me tremble in joy. She moved over to my left breast and did the same to it, her fingers still playing with my right one. Slowly she slid her hand down my torso and underneath my skirt, it finding it’s way to my nether region. I gasped at the feeling of her cold hands on me. “Eli I-I don't know if I can-“

 

“Oh, you want me to do more.” The girl grinned. “I can so do more.” 

 

“That’s not-“ I gasped loudly, a moan slipping through my lips as I felt her bury her head between my legs. The warmth of her breath making me feel tingly. She licked my whole body shook with pleasure. I moaned a bit louder, trying to stifle the noise, but there was no way that could happen now. Not with how…oh she was driving me insane with this. I pushed her head even further into my crotch, feeling the vibrations of her laughter when she pulled my hips closer to her. “Eli!” I yelled her name and felt my body seize up, belonging to her and only her. She slowed down the intensity of it, and we finally came to a stopping point when one of us couldn't go on. I kissed her lightly, our lips brushing past each other. The faint teasing driving the blonde mad. 

 

“Just imagine if they all walked in a couple of minutes ago, I think you would never be able to look them in the eye,” Eli laughed before kissing my cheek and helping me find my bra and underwear which had been thrown across the room. 

 

“I don’t know what I would’ve done, but I don’t care right now about the others, let’s just enjoy the moment while it lasts.” I slipped my underwear on and put my arms through the holes of my bra, adjusting my breasts to fit nicely. “Can you hook it for me?” I felt the clasp click, and turned around to see Eli holding up my white blouse waiting for me to fall into it, which I did. 

 

[ Ten Minutes Later ]

 

“Hey guys! Sorry we’re late, we had some extra student council stuff to take care of,” Honoka burst into the clubroom all smiles, Umi and Katori to her left and right. The rest of the girls were here and ready to have fun, but those three had been late. Or later then the others, technically they all had been late since Eli and I got here first. 

 

“It’s okay, we just started playing old maid, you wanna join?” Eli asked knowing very well that Katori was amazing at it…and Umi kinda sucked. 

 

“Its on!” Umi yelled running for the deck of cards. 

 

** Eli  **

 

I couldn't get the sounds Nozomi made earlier out of my head as we went through class, I still felt the lingering kiss haunt my lips. My hormones were too out of control! I needed to calm down and focus on my studies, but how could I when she was right behind me looking so gorgeous. I glanced back to see Nozomi staring right at me with a light shade of red across her face, she was thinking about earlier too. Geez, if it had been one minute earlier the girls would have found them deep in relations. They came a minute after they had stopped, Maki, Rin, Hanayo, and Nico. Maki probably wouldn't have cared, Nico would have been obsessive over it, and Rin and Hanayo would have been scarred for life. I shuddered just thinking about it. I pulled my attention back to class, seeing the math problems float around on the board in front of me. 

 

“Uh…Nozomi can you tell us the answer to number three is?” the teacher asked, I watched her stand up and look frantically at the page. She looked stressed? Most likely distracted which was partially my fault. 

 

“The answer is twenty o-“ In the blink of an eye Nozomi fainted, her body thudding hard on the ground. And in those seconds my heart stopped seeing her on the floor alone and completely unaware that she was gone. I rushed over to her side and yelled for someone to help me, to help me carry her to the nurses office. There were two other girls who helped me, and we got her there in good time. The nurse informed us it was just about being exhausted, and that she needed to take a good nap for a bit. It was all my fault, it had been because of what we did earlier that tired her out so much. I felt the guilt dawn on me, before deciding to go out and get Nozomi her favorite snack from the market. I told the nurse that I’d be back before she would wake up, and I would make sure to be. I walked out into the street heading back to the school, when the light turned green instead of red. 

 

** Nozomi **

 

I woke up, groggy from the sleeping state I had been in. Where was I? I looked around to see white curtains around me, and a woman sitting beside the bed I laid in. 

 

“Ah you’re awake, good, I’ll let your friend know.” She got up and walked through the curtains. The woman came back in a second later with machines she did not want to know what they did. “I am the nurse, and your here to rest, now let me take your temperature.” I feel a cold metal thermometer run across my forehead, the cold feeling nice. “Well it looks like you’re okay temperature wise, let’s check your breathing.” 

 

“What did you mean by let your friend know?” I asked as she turned me around placing a stethoscope on my back, listening to my breathing. 

 

“A girl named Ayase Eli came by and wanted to know if you were okay, she went out to get you something to eat I think.” She did that for me, I felt my heart race as I recalled what happened a couple of hours ago. “You’re breathing is fine, now lets-“ Honoka burst through the door in a panic, her breath heavy as she tried to calm down. I looked at her confused. 

 

“Hon-“

 

“Nozomi! Eli’s in the hospital!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry haven't been updating more often, but tryin' my best. Hope you all liked it!


	6. Yes, It's Her Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for long time no update, but this is a bit of a longer chapter. Please comment and tell me if you liked anything, or if you have any reactions to what happens. Thanks so much!

** Eli **

 

My head was spinning, I could feel my heartbeat pounding through it. My whole body felt paralyzed, the tingling sensation of my legs crawling up my torso. My eyelids were heavy and refused to open. I heard voices all around me, they made my head pulse with anger. The ringing in my ears refused to go away, the sounds sent my mind reeling. 

 

“Will she be okay?”

 

“What will you need to do?”

 

“Can we see her?”

 

I recognized some of the voices, but the names slipped through my mind. What was happening? 

 

“We can’t allow anyone to see her yet, she has not woken up yet so it may be a while. She is fine but there are a few things that concern the doctors.” A woman spoke, her low voice soothing. Who was okay? I tried to turn my head towards where the sound was coming from, but it wouldn’t move, didn’t want to. 

 

“What are the concerns?! Please tell me!” Someone yelled in concern, I remembered the voice well. My brain scanned to find who it was, and when I remembered I wanted to wake up. Nozomi, she was out there and I wanted to see her so badly. My body seemed to be exhausted, and for some reason keeping me locked up. I wanted to open my eyes and look over to her, to see her beautiful green eyes and let them stare at mine. My eyelids were heavy, and put up a struggle as I fought to open my eyes. A blast of light met me, the glow coming from the lights above me. I tried to comprehend where I was as I stared up at the plain white ceiling above me. My body still wouldn't move, but I now I could see at least. My eyes wandered around me, scanning the room messily. I couldn’t focus on anything in particular, but there were curtains surrounding me, and I was lying down. Beside the bed where I laid was a clipboard with lots of writing on it. I moved my finger tips just to make sure I wasn’t unable to move, I felt them curl into fists before attempting to sit up. My arms moved to push me up, but the minute I moved my whole body ached with pain, pain so bad I swear I could’ve burst into tears. I didn’t though, but I couldn’t help but gasp and wince at it.

 

“Damn that hurts.” I whispered to myself, but apparently everyone heard my movement and rushed through the curtains which had been blocking me off. “H-Hey.” Before I could even crack a fake smile Nozomi ran over to me and took my hand in her’s gently, her skin feeling warm and soft against my own. My heart rate fastened but I felt more at ease with her here. “What-Where am I?” I seriously wanted to know, because it felt strange not knowing where I was. 

 

“Oh Eli! I-I” Nozomi burst into tears, I reached up carefully to wipe them away, my arm aching in the process. “You’re in the hospital Eli, you got hit by a car.” I froze and saw everyone else look at me. It was the first time I noticed that all the girls were here, all having the same dreadful expression on their faces. 

 

“I did? I don’t remember anything about that.” I tried to recall what I had been doing…oh that’s right, I’d been getting Nozomi some yummy snacks. And then, the light turned green and the cars went. And I idiotically ran straight into the street because I let my emotions get the better of me. I sighed and saw Hanayo walk over with a teddy bear in her hands. 

 

“This is for you, we all thought you might want something better than flowers,” Hanayo held the plushy out shyly making me smile. I felt the rest of them walk closer to me slowly. There was a nurse to the right of my bed, she was writing down something that was not legible in my opinion. 

 

“Thank you Hanayo.” I took it and was surprised at how fuzzy it was. I buried my face in the fluffiness and smiled. I then saw Honoka shuffle towards me, her face down. I heard her sniffling and then saw her look up and there were tears rolling down her face. 

 

“ELI I THOUGHT YOU DIED!!!” She wailed dramatically, I couldn't help but laugh a bit. She continued to cry, her eyes red as she rubbed them more. 

 

“I’m fine Honoka, so stop your crying leader,” I told her and saw her glance at my body then back at my face. Her tears came back.

 

“But yo-“

“I’m fine Honoka, you don’t need to cry.” I grinned at her, and I watched her try to be a big girl and shake away her tears. It amused me more to see Rin and Nico also try. In the corner was Maki, I heard silent sniffles and whimpering. “Maki you okay back there?”

 

“Yah, I just got something in my eyes that’s all!” We all huffed out a laugh. 

 

“Shouldn’t we be asking you that?” Umi asked me, I shrugged squeezing Nozomi’s hand a bit to feel calmer. 

 

“I feel fine, but you all look awful. How long have you been here?” They all looked like they hadn’t slept in over a day, maybe two. Their emotions were running wild and the sleep deprivation was bound to catch up to them at some point. 

 

“We’ve been here since you were hospitalized,” Nozomi answered, she looked better than the others, but still tired. 

 

“And when was that?” No one replied, until Umi finally mustered up the courage. 

 

“Three days ago.”

 

“Three days! Jeez guys go home please, sleep, you need it.” They tried to protest but I just shook my head at them. “You are to go home and rest, or else you can not come back to see me again got it.” They all looked horrified at that threat, it made me happy to know they cared that much. Nodding, they all left the room to go back to their homes and sleep. Nozomi didn’t budge though. “Nozomi-“

 

“No, I am not leaving you alone.”

 

“Nozomi you need your rest to, don’t worry about me, I’ll be okay,” I looked up at her. Her face told me no, so I just kept pushing on. 

 

“I do worry though, I want to be here for you, how can I do that at home?” She cried, her fingers lacing through mine. “I want to be here when you wake up, when you go to sleep, so I can protect and take care of you Eli.” The tears ran down her cheeks like waterfalls. Never ending.

 

“You are always here for me Nozomi, and I know that. But, I don't want you to drain yourself for my sake. Okay?” She refused to nod. I unlaced our hands and brought my hand up to her face. My lips met hers, her warmth colliding with mine. I yearned for her lips the whole time, but I couldn’t, not in front of the girls.My hand pulled her in more, my tongue invading her mouth. She leaned into me, making my body shake a bit from the soreness. Nozomi shot away, quickly breaking our kiss.

 

“Sorry!” She freaked out, I stared at her making a shade of red appear on her cheeks. “I hurt you.”

 

“No you didn’t, I didn’t feel a thing.” Lies, I felt it, but I didn’t care. “Nozomi get some rest okay, it’s late.” It actually was, I noticed the time when I examined the room. It was around nine o’clock at night. I touched her hand gently, bringing it to my cheek. I rubbed into it, the touch soothing me. 

 

“Okay. But I’ll be back here tomorrow okay?” I nodded smiling as she let go of me, the warmth still lingering on my face. Nozomi peered back at me and was probably debating over leaving again, but then she finally left, and I was to myself. I laid back down, my body definitely feeling like a car had struck it. I tried to curl up into my normal sleeping position but the second I tried to move my legs, my right one felt like it was being cut to pieces. I stopped breathing from the pain for a couple of seconds, it didn’t go away, but it became manageable after the nurse came in and gave me what looked like medicine. I was so woozy right now it sort of looked like candy. I fell asleep quickly afterwards. 

 

** Nozomi **

 

It scared the hell out of me, the past three days were torture. I couldn’t come to see her because I wasn’t family. And now that she was awake she looked like she was in so much pain. I needed to be gentle with her, it would take a lot of time to heal from the trauma her body went through. It was her fault, again it was her fault! Eli didn’t go to Russia because of her, and now she was hit by a car because she was getting food for her. If I hadn’t been in the nurses office, if I hadn’t developed feelings… I shook my head roughly, no. I don't regret having feelings for Eli, I would never. I brushed my feet on the hard floor of the hospital as I walked towards the exit. I shouldn’t leave her. 

 

My purse hung at my side just begging to be opened, so I did. Inside was nothing special, except for some mints, barrettes, scrunchies, lipgloss, and a book. My curiosity got the best of me and I looked at the cover reading the title. 

 

“The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle.” I read off of the cover. It was Eli’s favorite. Maybe she would want something to read… I needed an excuse anyways. I ran back up the hospital steps, the flights of stairs making me loose my breath. I passed many rooms, almost all of them with their lights turned off. It was pretty late, now it was ten thirty. I walked up to the shared room Eli was in and opened the sliding door as quietly as I could. I didn’t want to wake up anyone, the room was dark. There were four people in the room, Eli being the one closest to the windows. I walked closer, hoping not to get snapped at for not going home. My hand pulled back the curtain and I peered in, to only see an asleep Eli-chi. She was so cute when she slept, not that she wasn't cute all the time. Her breathing was normal which was a good sign. Maybe I should just put it on her nightstand. I looked over to see a machine working away at keeping her on medicine. It must’ve been painful, and when she’d flinched like that while we had been kissing, my heart tensed. I placed the book carefully on her nightstand and looked at her. 

 

“You know, I love you Eli.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead, making her stir a bit. I heard the curtains rustle in front of me. 

 

“Oh, I didn’t know anyone was still here with Ms. Ayase. Are you family?” It was a different nurse that came this time, in her hand was a clip board and she had a stethoscope around her neck. 

 

“You could say that,” I answered, the nurse giving me a confused look before continuing.

 

“I just got the results of her X-ray scans, I’ll inform you on her condition since I bet your wondering.” I nodded, feeling a bit guilty that she wasn't awake for this. “Well, she has a minor concussion, her body has been through a lot of shock. It is still adjusting. She has a dislocated shoulder, and her right leg is broken almost shattered completely.” My heart stopped, it was bad, really bad. “It says here that she danced competitively?”

 

“Yes, it’s her life.” I couldn't help but feel like this was leading somewhere not promising. 

 

“Well, her life is going to have to change a bit. Because I’m sorry, but she will not be able to dance for a long time with a break like this.” I stopped and tried to think properly. 

 

“But-“

 

“I’m sorry, but dancing is off the table at this point.” 


	7. Nice To Meet You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya'll like this chapter. Sorry I have been super absent lately! I had midterms at my school and they are pretty much like finals so I was stressing a lot over that. Tell me what you think of the chapter, sorry it's a bit short. Not a lot of time to write lately. Tell me what you think! Thanks for reading!

** Eli **

I woke up to the sunlight peaking through the curtains of the hospital room, I tried to move and found a IV in my arm. I glanced around seeing that no one was there, except a book that sat invitingly on the nightstand next to my bed. I peered over to see the name, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, my favorite. My whole body ached, nothing was moving right. My head reeled as I tried to sit up more, but eventually I just gave up, slouching back into the bed. The sun was so bright it made me wonder just how long I had been asleep for. As I glanced at the clock my eyes widened, spying the numbers made me realize how tired I was. It was almost three in the afternoon, I had slept for that long! Wow. 

 

“Ah, so you are awake Miss. Ayase, good to see you are alert.” A man said as he came over and checked my IV. 

 

“I sure am,” I spoke making him smile. He fixed something that looked like he was increasing the amount of medicine given to me, but I didn’t know anything about doctoring. 

 

“So, here’s the thing…I’m not sure if your aware yet, but there are a few things wrong.” Yah, no duh. I would be able to at least sit up properly if I was okay, but no I can’t even do that. “You have a minor concussion, it should be healing properly and should heal soon. It wasn’t very bad, but we will still monitor it.”

 

“Okay, will there be any brain damage?” I was getting nervous now, he was looking at me wearily.

 

“Oh goodness no! It may give you headaches and migraines, maybe some memory problems for a little while but nothing too severe.” That was a relief, just some minor things. The doctor didn’t look like he was done speaking, but I wanted him to be done.

 

“What else?” He hesitated to say, but eventually had to. 

 

“Well, you also have a dislocated shoulder, and…a shattered leg.” I waited for him to continue, but he just paused. It took me a while to realize why, the shattered leg…

 

“Wait, will my leg heal? Will I still be able to walk?” I worried, and when I worry I tend to blurt out a bunch of things. “What will happen?”

 

“Calm down Miss. Ayase, please. You’re leg will heal, but the thing is…we are not sure if you will be able to dance at national level like you used to.” My heart sank, without dancing what was I? I was supposed to go to Russia, to go and study ballet there, how? 

 

“So I will still be able to at least dance a little bit?” I looked him, praying that the answer would be yes.

 

“That all depends how you choose to deal with your recovery. If you push it then maybe no, if you don’t try at all then never, so you never know. I wish you the best in recovery Miss. Ayase. I must go input todays numbers into the computer, there should be brunch coming for you soon. There is also water on the nightstand for you if you need it.” He brushed his black hair out of his eyes before taking his pencil from his ear and writing down some things. “What I would recommend, is for you to rest and let your heart rate stay low. Your blood pressure and heart rate may affect your recovery okay?” I nod before he pulled back the separation curtain and leaving. Not dancing, that would be a first. It had always been the same routine every day. School, dance, practice, dance some more, homework, then shower and bed. Always dancing. Now, I wasn’t even able to do that. 

 

“Can we come in?” I hear a high pitched voice ask, my eyes wander to find a light grey haired girl asking me if she could come in. Kotori stood at the curtain entrance with the rest of the girls. 

 

“Yes, come on in, you’re always welcome here.” I nodded my head a them to come in more. They all cautiously looked at me, I knew what they all wanted to ask but no one would. Maybe I should just wait it out and see who cracks first…that would be cruel though. It would make for a good laugh though. 

 

“How are you feeling?” Umi asked, her eyes full of sorrow. Everyone had darkened eyes, they looked so drained. 

 

“I’m feeling okay, but what about you guys? Didn’t I tell you all to get sleep?” I huffed out a laugh making my whole body ache. I grunt causing concerned looks to get shot my way. “I’m fine.”

“Does it hurt?” Hanayo whispered shyly, I looked my body up and down, and even though it hurt like hell, I didn’t want to worry them.

 

“It’s a bit sore, but I’m feeling fine. You never answer my question,” I demand they answer. Guilty faces fell over all the girl’s faces, hehehe, they were all adorable. 

 

“I was too worried!” Honoka yelled raising her hand up, quickly Rin answered too.

 

“Same here, I couldn’t get a lick of sleep.”

 

“I tried, but my subconscious wasn’t calm enough.” Maki made an excuse up, Umi who stood next to her shook her head in agreement to the statement. 

 

“I really did try but even when I wasn’t thinking about it, I was.” I sighed and looked at Nico who just did her little Nico dance.

 

“Nico Nico Ni! I really couldn’t sleep, forgive me?” She tried to act all adorable but we all knew that was such a lie. 

 

“I just was too focused on how you were doing Eli,” Kotori said in a sweet soft voice, she was using her maid charms against me. I sighed and laughed to myself before responding.

 

“Alright, I guess since you all at least tried that I can forgive you,” I winked and saw them all smile. I wanted to go hug them all too, but unfortunately if I did get out of bed I would just hurt myself more. Only one thing to do…Air hug! I must’ve looked like a fool, but it was worth it to have my friends around. I laid my head on the pillow beneath it, the soft fluffiness feeling so nice. I just sank right into it. 

 

“Hey Eli, what’s this?” I looked to my right to see Umi holding up the book, her eyes squinting to read the title. 

 

“It’s one of my favorite novels, it’s called The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. You should read it sometime!” I exclaim making the girls smile at the joyous mood. Umi still looked puzzled, I didn’t know why though. 

 

“Who gave it to you? I know it wasn't us.” Who gave it to me? Hmmmm, who did give it to me? I didn’t really know. 

 

“I don’t remember, but all I know is they really know what I like.” I smile before Umi held out the book for me to take. Lifting my right arm hurt, but the left was way worse. I held the book in my hands and flipped through the pages, reading every word. They all made me so nostalgic. 

 

“I gave that to you.” A voice interrupted everything, everyone smiled at the beautiful purple haired girl in the curtain entrance way. She was so gorgeous, and her eyes were a piercing greenish blue. Her body was so alluring too, oh gosh my heart rate. 

 

“Nozomi!” Rin yelled and ran over to the girl, I looked at her then back at the book. Smiling she came closer to me and I felt my heart beat faster and faster. She looked at me so…intimately, it made me feel butterflies. “Nozomi! you are late.” Everyone laughed including me. I held out my hand to her, the right one that didn't hurt before saying. 

 

“Thanks for the book, it’s my favorite! Nice to meet you Nozomi, I am Eli Ayase, I hope we can be friends.”


	8. If She Remembers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, so this is probably going to be the last chapter of the year! Can you believe 2016 is almost over?! What are you guys thinking? Is the story going as you thought or has it thrown you for a loop. Sorry for not posting in over a month. I have a project I'm doing for school...(I have to write a full blown opera!) So that's been taking up my time. Happy New Years everyone!

** Eli **

 

I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, I don’t know if there was a particular reason, but her eyes just mesmerized me. My heart wouldn’t calm down, it honestly felt like I might explode. 

 

“Wh-What do you mean nice to meet you? It’s Nozomi, Eli?” Katori asked. She was acting like I already knew the girl. Maybe I did and I just didn’t remember her? Maybe I met her a while back, like childhood friends? 

 

“I don’t remember you sorry. Did we perhaps play together as children?” I wondered, slowly I saw the girl’s face fall. Her eyes didn’t sparkle any more, and her smile faded into a worried frown.

 

“Nozomi was in Muse with us! Don’t you remember Eli?” Honoka exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air wildly. She was in Muse? I don’t remember there ever being someone like her. I shook my head, hearing gasps from a few of the girls. I glanced back at Nozomi to find tears welled up in her eyes, who was this girl? 

 

“I’m sorry I really don’t remember. I’m sure you are a wonderful girl, and I want to get to know you better. But, I don’t have any memory of you being in Muse.” All my memories of the group, there were only eight members. Thinking back to the concerts, performances, and struggles, there were eight members. Right? I looked forward at the girl, tears rolling down from her cheeks. My chest clamped up, it hurt, to see her cry like that. Nozomi quickly whipped away the tears with her sleeve, and held out a hand. 

 

“If you don’t remember me, then we will need to make you new memories of me. And perhaps fill in some gaps in your memory.” She was smiling again, it was if her emotions were on a rollercoaster. Which they probably were, I never knew what it felt like to be forgotten. It must be painful, not only for her but for those around her. I took her hand, the soft skin familiar.

 

“I would love that,” I heard the ruffle of the curtains. The doctor from before waltzed in, shocked by how many people were in the room. 

 

“Well, well. You’ve sure got great friends for them to come back at rush time. How’s that shoulder? Any pain?” I nodded, every time I would move it, the thing hurt like crazy. “That’s to be expected, is anything else that I did not explain before hurting?” 

 

“I think I’m okay sir-“

 

“She has memory loss problems doctor,” Umi interrupted me, urgently spouting out the words. “She has forgotten her best friend.” Best friend? I glanced up to Nozomi who watched as the doctor tapped his clipboard anxiously. 

 

“So she did end up getting amnesia. Although I’ve never seen it be so selective before. She remembers all of you correct?” The girls nodded, and Nozomi’s grip on my hand tightened. No wonder she was crying, we were best friends. “Usually amnesia wipes out a certain time of your memories, not a certain person. It seems like it’s long term retrograde memory loss.” So it was true, I did have something wrong with my brain. 

 

“What a wonderful thing to wake up to,” I sighed feeling the warmth of her hand still on mine. Nozomi wouldn’t let go, and I knew it was important to her because the longer she held on, the tighter her grip got. 

 

“I see your sarcasm is still in tact, that’s a good sign. It shows it’s not implicit memory loss,” the doctor joked. Not funny. “Well I don’t know what to tell you girls. If she ends up getting her memory back it will be astounding. But there is no way to know if she will. So, I would start to just be with her Nozomi, tell her about fun times and if you have pictures it will help. But, don’t expect her to be the same person, because without the memories of you she won’t be.” I was starting to become a bit worried, would I even know what I was originally like? Or would it be one big non-ending blur of memories that I can’t see through.

 

“I understand sir, I have a quick question. She remembered me the first time she woke up, so why now? Why did she forget me now?” She was chocking on her words. I remembered her then…when was that? A couple of days ago?

 

“Yah! Why did that happen?” Rin squealed. I wanted to know too, even though I couldn’t remember exactly what happened. I still kinda wanted to know who I really was. 

 

“The mind is a funny thing, we will get some physiologists to take a look at the situation. And to ask her and you some questions, for now all we can do is help her adjust to her new life. She should be able to leave the hospital in a couple of days, we need to be able to give her a proper settling case for her leg until we can get a surgery time confirmed.” Wait surgery?! I didn’t want to be cut open, the thought of my guts being exposed like that made me cringe. 

 

“So she will most definitely need surgery?” Nozomi questioned, sitting on the edge of my bed. She brought her other hand to our already held ones. My heart fluttered for a second before listening to hear the doctors answer. 

 

“Yes, that is inevitable. We will need to get out the stranded shards of bone that are currently in her leg. We will also need to place metal in her leg to help heal the break.” Metal, inside of me, like screws and sharp things. Being…drilled into my bones! I shivered, I could already hear the sound of the drill digging into my bones. Ugh that sound made my skin crawl. 

 

“Alright then, will she be allowed visitors afterwards?” They all were wondering that, I was surely wondering that. I would be pretty lonely without the girls, they were pretty much like family. Then there was also Alisa, she would be worried about me for sure, my little sis worried so much for anyone. 

 

“Yes, but only if she is showing good signs of recovery,” he answered closing his clipboard and leaving. I didn’t want to ask more, I was afraid to ask more, because I didn’t understand what I could be forgetting that would be that important. I knew that Nozomi was my best friend, or so they said. But, why was it so important for me to remember, did I want to remember? I felt her hand disappear and when I looked, she wasn’t facing me anymore.

 

“Do you at least remember one song? The one song that was special? Snow Halation.” I remembered song after song, searching through the memories. Did we even perform one that was named that? Did she get the name wrong?

 

“No, I don’t remember. I’m sorry, I just don’t.” Everyone was silent as I said it, and frankly I couldn't hear anyone breath either. Nozomi sniffled, and even though she wasn’t facing my way I knew that she was crying. But why? 

 

“Okay, that’s…okay.” She ran through the curtains, faster than when she ran in. Her hands covered her face as she ran through them not looking back. Snow Halation? Snow, it was feint, but my memory recognized it from somewhere. 

 

**Nozomi**

 

She didn’t remember! She didn’t remember me…of all people not to remember. I am the one she didn’t remember. I rubbed my eyes intently as I ran down the hallway of the hospital, not caring who was there to see my breakdown. Eli-Eli didn’t remember me at all, or Snow Halation. But she remembered the other girls, and all the other songs. I know I should've kept it together, slapped a smile on my face, but how could I do that when I was dying inside. She was my Eli, and she made that song, with me. She made that song, with the other girls, but she was the one who encouraged me to make it. For love…and I played it off as for loving muse…but in reality I made the song for her. And now… I buried my face in my hands, waiting for the tears to dry up, but they didn’t. It hurt, it hurt so much. I missed her, and just yesterday she remembered me. Just yesterday! 

 

“Nozomi?” I heard someone whisper my name softly. My eyes guided themselves to see Honoka smiling down at me, extending her hand. 

 

“Not now Honoka.” I wanted to be alone, to have my time alone in peace. 

“Then when Nozomi? You gotta start now! Or else when are you ever gonna get Eli back?” She winked at me, did she know…nah she couldn’t. “Come on, I’m sure she wants to get to know you again. And who knows what this might bring once she realizes who you are.”

 

“ _If_ she remembers,” I doubted her, she grabbed my hands and flung me forward with such force I almost fell over. “Honoka!”

 

“Oh come on! Even if she doesn't remember you are Nozomi! And she is Eli, you two will be together one way or another. Wether it be with memories, or without.” I felt her pull me harder, to get me to go back to her. To drag me back to Eli-chi. There was only one way to help, and that was to actually be helpful.

 

“I’m going to go see her, and make things right.” Honoka beamed and skipped down the hall, pausing before opening the door to the shared room.

 

“Well come on! Go get your Eli back!” Yes, I would get her back, even if it was going to be hard. I would find a way. 


End file.
